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The Wannabe Desert
Southwest of lake Wannabe the forested hills give way to the Wannabe Desert - a wilderness of rock and sparse vegetation. There are no trails to follow just cliffs and crevices, ravines and fissures.
Sometimes life with ADD is like a desert. You are surrounded with hopelessness, frustration, failure upon failure, lost relationships, and a pervasive lack of energy and desire. The question, "what do you wannabe?" only increases the pain and guilt. "I just wannabe left alone," your spirit begs. It is different for each of us - and so is the hurt.
The wilderness is a sea of temptation fraught with life-threatening dangers. We find no help or encouragement from others. This can devastate those who depend on the opinions of others for self worth. The terrain offers no guidance or security. How can we find fulfillment when life is stacked against us? A common reaction is to give up one's dreams and settle for much less.
Sometimes our desert forms because we tend to evaluate our life situation on the basis of our feelings - or, worse yet, on what others think and feel. Without knowing it, we may be conducting life mainly to please others or to just fit in. So, we lose touch with ourselves and what we feel - what is right and wrong for us. We are addicted to the praise and approval of others. "What do I wannabe?" is replaced with "What do THEY want me to be?"
As an ADDer you are destined to march to a different drum beat - it cannot be otherwise. When you fail to hear that beat, you have lost your integrity and selfhood. The desert is full of false echoes and mirages of what could be.
Yet, the desert can also be a source of renewal and growth. I wish the desert on no one - it is a dreadful experience. Yet, from my own experience I know of no significant truth learned or change accomplished without the pain and struggle of the desert.
This is the DESERT PARADOX - the source of pain is also the source of pleasure. Isn't life great? In order to benefit from the desert, learn to carry your own water supply. Water is the symbol of life. You don't have to depend on other people and/or circumstances for living.
When you apply your own water (life) to the desert it will respond with surprisingly rich growth and meaning. The more you give of yourself, the more alive you become. If you choose to wait for the next shower, you may not make it. If you keep your water to yourself, your supply will soon run dry.
On the other hand, always be ready with the rain comes. The desert will blossom and become a paradise overnight. If you seize the moment, you will reap a rich harvest of life.
This is enough of my desert musings for the day.
Take care,
Ray
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© 2000 Raymond H. Reinbolt -- Creative Life Concepts.
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